We all know that life often hands us situations that are … difficult… you know the ones that make your blood boil, that cause us to come out of the side of our necks. While in public we can swallow, keep our cool and mover forward, this is not always the case behind closed doors.
Our families have a special talent for pushing our buttons, they may even install new ones.
Our kids are no exception, our kids can… well… cause us to react in ways we are not always proud of.
That’s right most experts say take a deep breath and respond rather than react to your situation, and that is great in theory. But, how do we do that?
The only way to achieve a guaranteed response and not reaction is to use our B.R.A.I.N.
Ask Yourself?!? B – Benefits – What is the BENEFIT to choosing to do this? R – Risk – What are the RISKS involved in doing this? A – Alternatives – Are there any ALTERNATIVES to doing this? I – Instincts – What is your INSTINCT or gut feeling telling you to do? N – Nothing – What if you do absolutely NOTHING right now?
These 5 simple questions are guaranteed to turn the situation around. Asking them gives you a moment to pause, it takes you out of an emotional state, and brings you into the rational.
This is how a reaction becomes a response.
It always helps to have a support network, your doula, a circle of peers, other parents you trust, ones who you hold in high regard for their choices in parenting.
Sometimes feedback isn’t necessary, it’s not their opinions you seek. This might even infuriate you further, utilize them nonetheless, just having a sounding board can be beneficial.
Remember, you will always find unbiased, nonjudgmental support with you Uptown Doula.