Breastfeeding in the First Week: The Stuff No One Tells You (But Should)

If you are reading this and you’re within your first week of postpartum, Congratulations! You’ve made it or at least, pretty damn close! You also may be thinking to yourself, “What the hell is happening?”. If this is you, you’re not alone. Breastfeeding in the first week can feel like a total mind game, no matter how ready you feel.

Breastfeeding in the First Week: What’s Normal (And What’s Not)

When it comes to the first week of postpartum, it doesn’t matter how many childbirth education classes you’ve attended, how many birth videos you’ve watched, all the TikToks you endlessly scrolled or how “ready” you felt because the first week and throw you. And not because you’re dong anything wrong, it’s because no one really explains what this feels like in real life.

Let’s talk about it and get real.

First things first: “Normal” doesn’t mean easy. Sure, breastfeeding is natural but so is childbirth and we all know that’s not a cake walk.

The first week? To be honest, it can feel clunky and awkward. It’s like you and your baby are trying to figure out a dance, without knowing all the steps. Remember, you’re learning how to navigate this alongside your newborn and this learning curve takes time.

You’re Baby Isn’t Eating Meals Yet. They’re Placing Orders

Once you understand this, everything will shift, I promise.

In the first few days, your baby isn’t taking solid meals like we think of them, they are actually working hard to build your milk supply. So, when your baby is breastfeeding around the clock, showing hunger cues 20 minutes after their last feed, and acting like they’re never satisfied, please know this does not mean you aren’t making enough for them. This means your baby is putting in their order for what they’ll need tomorrow.

This is what we call, cluster feeding. It’s not your baby being difficult, it’s your baby being smart.

Day Two & Three: What No One Warns You About

Day one baby is sleep and chill. They just arrived and not very interested.

Day two and three baby? Suddenly, they are like, “I’m here and I come with demands!”

This 24 hour shift catches a lot of parents off guard. You go from thinking, “Okay, I got this…” to “Wait….why won’t my baby settle?”

In most cases, nothing is wrong. Your baby just woke up.

Let’s Talk About Pain. This Matters

When you research about breastfeeding, you may read, “Breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt. If it hurts, you’re doing it wrong.”

Here’s the truth:

Some tenderness in the beginning is normal. Your nipples have never had this kind of stimulation before so yeah, it’s going to be uncomfortable to start. Now, when the paid you’re feeling makes your whole body tense up and you find you’re toes curling against the carpet, that’s not normal and tells me that there may be a latch issue that still needs to be worked out.

This is your sign to take a pause and get support.

You don’t have to just push through pain and suffer to prove anything.

If You Can’t See the Milk…Look at the Diapers

One of the biggest mind games in the first week is not being able to see how much your baby is eating. This can make your brain fill with thoughts like, “They’re not getting enough.”.

Here’s the truth, diapers tell the story and they don’t lie. What goes in, must come out and your baby’s wet and dirty diapers are your baby’s way of saying, “Hey, I’m good.”

If you’re anything like me, there’s actually a simple pattern you can follow that helps take some of that guesswork out of it:

• Day One: At least 1 wet diaper + 1 poop
• Day Two: At least 2 wet diapers + 2 poops
• Day Three: At least 3 wet diapers + 3 poops
• Day Four: At least 4 wet diapers + 3-4 poops
• Day Five: At least 5+ wet diapers + 3-4 poops

After that, you’re going to be looking for 5-8 wet and dirty diapers per day. Your baby’s stools will also shift from a black tar-like substance, to green, to a seedy yellow color.

And listen, this isn’t perfect. It’s not like your baby has one less diaper one day, and everything is suddenly wrong. During this time, you’re looking for patterns, not perfection.

Since our boobs don’t come with measuring cups, this is your reassurance that your baby is getting what they need.

You Don’t Have to Love Breastfeeding Right Away

I’m going to say something that moms need to hear.

It’s ok if you breastfed and don’t feel the magical, instant connection right away. Sometimes it feels awkward, frustrating, and exhausting. In the beginning, it can also feel transactional and a bit one-sided.

This doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong or there’s a missing piece.

Your bond with your baby will build over time and it’s fine if it doesn’t happen right away.

Why Everything Feels Worse at Night

If you’ve shed some tears at 2am over breastfeeding…. welcome to the club.

Truth be told, night feedings hit different. You’re exhausted and your hormones are all over the place. Also, your home is dark and quiet, which can make you feel completely isolated, where all you can hear are your own thoughts. And those thoughts can be very loud.

Things that feel manageable during the day can feel overwhelming at night.

These feelings are not a reflection of how things are going, it’s just the heaviness of the moment.

Your Milk Isn’t “Late”. Your Body Has a Timeline

Have you ever heard the phrase, “When your milk comes in”?

Rest assured, your milk is in! You’ve actually be producing colostrum (early breastmilk) since your early second trimester.

There’s so much unnecessary pressure around new mothers around “when your milk comes in” and that’s not fair. Your body is doing exactly what it’s supposed to do. Colostrum comes first (small amounts but packed with high value). This milk is what I like to refer to as “liquid gold”. It’s very thick and gold in color and packed with all the good stuff your baby needs. Transitional milk tends to come around day 3-4 and it will be more in volume andhave a creamy yellow color. Around day 5, your milk will transition to mature milk, or what we think of when we think of milk….white. Also, more volume.

This is a normal progression and doesn’t happen overnight. And just because it doesn’t look like a full bottle yet, doesn’t mean it’s not enough.

What’s Actually Not Normal (Without Scaring You)

I’m going to keep this simple. If you feel like things are sliding off track, it’s worth a second opinion from an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). It’s worth checking in if you are experiencing the following:

• Your baby is too sleepy to wake for feeds
• Diaper output is consistently low
• Pain is getting worse instead of better
• You’re not noticing any breast changes by days 4-5

You Were Never Meant to do This Alone

Here’s the part that I care about the most!

Breastfeeding isn’t something you stumble into and you’re just supposed to “figure it out” on your own.

This is a learned skill and you and your precious baby are learning together, just like learning a new dance.

Having the right support, whether that’s your partner, sister, best friend, doula, or lactation specialist can totally change the game.

If you’re in the Charlotte area and need that kind of support, this is exactly what we do at Uptown Doula. You don’t have to sit in the dark, googling and second guessing yourself.

You’re Not Failing. If You Feel you are, You’re Probably Right on Track

I mean this from the bottom of my doula heart.

Almost every new mom I’ve supported within the first week of postpartum has had a moment where they thought, “ I don’t think I’m doing this right.”.

The fact that you are thinking that tells me you’re not failing.

You’re doing awesome! Please note this: Only good moms worry about whether they are failing or not.

You and your newborn are learning something brand new, while you’re recovering from childbirth and sleep-deprived. Of course this feels hard!

Hard doesn’t mean wrong.

And more often than not….you’re doing way better than you give yourself credit for.